The Tale of Le Cheval Rouge

I was feeling nostalgic the other day and decided to do a little research on a vessel that had figured prominently in my early days in the oil field.

Mobil Oil used to own a tug boat named Le Cheval Rouge (The Red Horse - get it?). It pulled a construction barge that was used for a variety of construction projects in the shallow Gulf of Mexico. If you were an engineer with Mobil back in the early 80's, you became very familiar with them. When the industry slowed down in the mid 80's, it was just too expensive to keep them on the payroll so they were sold off. I wanted to find out what had become of her so I did an internet search and found out that the tug was now up in Alaska. I sent out a request to the Mobil retiree's list to see what folks remembered about her. Here are some of the responses I got back:

"The Cheval Rouge was built in 1979 or 1980 if I remember correctly and Jimmy, George and Santo went in a 14' boat and stole it out of the fab yard the day after the christening because the IRS seized the yard that afternoon and Ed (the Marine Superintendent) said he was not going to pay for it twice and he wanted it NOW!"

So, the IRS had impounded the shipyard for back taxes but our marine superintendent sent out a midnight search and recovery mission to get her. Back then, it was expected that managers would take action - not call a meeting to study the situation. The oil field was fun back in those days.

She was difficult to acquire and was just as difficult to get rid of. Here is the memoir from the guy who sold her.

"How did the Le Cheval Rouge end up in Alaska? Well, I sold the tug and the barge to a company in Seattle when Mobil decided it was no longer an asset.

Way back in those days decisions were made without the need of year long studies and 27 person committees with 17 teams reporting to the committee to determine if something was losing money. Seems the work was slow and the Le Cheval Rouge and her barges were just not being used enough to justify the maintenance. So, I was asked to do what I did best - make a deal. I advertised the Le Cheval Rouge and her barges for sale by sealed bid in some major Gulf Coast newspapers and the Wall Street Journal. After many phone calls and other dubious dealings with the locals in the general Gulf area who wanted to buy the tug under the table and avoid the sealed bid process, the successful sealed bidder was a company in Seattle. The gentleman was very interested and in a hurry to come down to Morgan City and sail the tug, with the barge in tow, through the Panama Canal and up the west coast to Seattle.

Sure enough, his money came in and he showed up in person to claim the prize. Unfortunately, he was in way too big of a hurry to sail away and managed to ground the tug and, after trying to free the craft with far too much torque on the drive, bent one of the propeller shafts. This put the Le Cheval Rouge in a shipyard for repair for about three months (and another hundred thou or so of this guys money). Well, the guy aggravated me for about two of those three months complaining that we sold him a defective vessel. Needless to say, in the end he had my sympathy, but I had his money. (Actually, even with the shaft repair he really got a great deal.)

Finally, the tug was "ship-shape" and waterproof, and off he went to Seattle. You would think this was the end of the story - but no. A couple of weeks later, about 2:00 AM I get a phone call at home from this guy all hot and bothered because the Coast Guard was now giving him a bad time. Seems that he was stopped for an inspection and the transfer papers were
not quite right and the Coast Guard was thinking this guy had a "hot" boat. The Coast Guard had some particular one page form that had to be filled out and signed by 6 angles, two saints and endorsed by the Virgin Mary and none of us even knew this form existed. At 8:00 AM that same morning I was on a flight to Seattle to straighten out this mess. A long story about a little Coast Guard fellow who either had a little bit of power go to his head or just didn't like my buyer. Anyway, after having the buyer's banker meet me at the airport and several trips to the Seattle docks and the bank, we had this "Act of God" signed, sealed and delivered - Oh, I didn't mention that I had to stop at the company president's house on the way to the airport at 6:00 AM that morning to get him to sign this silly form - he really loved that
one. (One of my dirt book photo Op's - Charlie in his "PJ's," but that's another story.)

So, I'm on a late evening flight back to New Orleans that same day, official copies of the United Nations Treaties and the Warsaw Pact in my grubby little hands, and I think, well, finally I have this albatross off my neck. Ho, Ho, Ho - for three years after that sale, one I knew had been now properly processed on every government and legal form know to man and woman, I periodically got phone calls from irate Coast Guard officers threatening Mobil with fines and imprisonment for various safety and other types of violations committed by the Le Cheval Rouge - which for some strange reason continued to be registered as owned by Mobil. The very first call told me the vessel had been moved from Seattle to some awful sounding place in Alaska without Coast Guard approval ?? Approval? That's a new one on me, but that was the complaint. So, I was always aware that the final resting place (at least as far as I know) of the Le Cheval Rouge was somewhere in Alaska. I have heard a rumor by way of Moscow, that the tug is now the back up boat for the Deadliest Catch on the History Channel.

I even once got a call from the FCC with a complaint that someone on the Le Cheval Rouge had used foul language over the marine radio. Imagine that - a sailor using foul language. So, I knew the whereabouts of the Le Cheval Rouge for many years."

Louisiana Humor

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women from the local college skinny-dipping in his pond. He said "hi" so as not to scare them and make them aware of his presence and they all swam over to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out of this pond until after you leave."

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked....'

Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Ode to Winter in Massachussetts

For my nephew at U Mass, Boston....

It's winter in MASSACHUSETTS
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At twenty-five below.

Oh, how I love MASSACHUSETTS
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave MASSACHUSETTS
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground!

Head Count

Saudi Arabia executed 1 murderer in February. The year to date number of executions in the KSA stands at 2. Dubai has joined the count by executing one murderer as well - a rare event for the tiny Emirate.

Engineering Gobbledegook

Read in recent specifications.....

"The screw holes of flanges shall be asynchronous and symmetrically opposed with regard to the equipment orthogonal shafts."

"Butt welds shall not have salience above the internal surface of the tank."

"During valve manipulation be careful that any valve accessory or paint be damage.
All manipulations have to be done carefully and low speed and be sure that any
accident or damage can be to anyone or to the valve."

"The lift is being fixed. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
-sign in a Bucharest hotel lobby

San Fransisco Smells

I was amused to read about the problem San Fransisco is having with its sewage system. Several years, ago the tree huggers there started giving rebates to anyone who would install a low flow toilet - one that uses less water to flush. Evidently the program was a huge success. The program "saved" 20 million gallons of water.

The program had unfortunate consequences, however. With less water flowing in the sewers, the transport of fecal material was impaired. Lower water volume means lower water velocity in the pipes which means less turbulence and that allows solid particles to drop out of the flow stream. The "stuff" builds up in the pipes and just sits there instead of going to the neighborhood sewage treatment plant.

And the citizens are beginning to smell the consequences of their environmental efforts. Now the city is going to spend $100 million to upgrade treatment plants and another $14 million on bleach to disinfect the pipes.

Good job, San Fransisco. Too bad you really didn't know your "stuff"!

Encouraging Economic Indicators

I have noticed an uptick in the number of cold calls I receive from people trying to recruit me for various engineering positions. This is a positive indicator that companies are willing to invest in the design required to build facilities. I also got a call from a friend who is looking to fill a number of positions and wanted me to recommend some folks. Of course, many of these jobs are for overseas positions which also says something about how the current administration is affecting US business.