Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Oil Field Hands

A tourist walked into a pet store in Houston, Texas and was looking at the pets on display. While he was there, a petroleum engineer from a nearby office walked in and said to the storekeeper, "I'll take a rig hand monkey please." The storekeeper nodded, went to the side of the store, and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it to the Engineer, saying, "That'll be $2000."

The man paid and left with the monkey.

The surprised tourist went to the storekeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most monkeys are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"

The storekeeper answered, "Ah, that's a rig monkey. He can rig up, throw the chain, work derricks, rack pipe, paint, mix mud, all with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money."

The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive $10,000!
What does it do?"

"Oh that one" replied the store keeper. "That's a Rig Manager monkey. It can instruct all levels of maintenance, run the safety program, deal with clients, and even do some paper work. A very useful monkey indeed."

The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag was $50,000.

The shocked tourist exclaimed, "This one costs more than all the others put together. What in the world can it do?"

"Honestly," said the storekeeper, "I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer and whiskey, cuss and play with himself all day, but his papers say he's a "Company Man. "


Old NFO said...

Good one! :-)

Radigan said...

As a (workover) rig hand myself, it's always been my opinion that you only need two things to be a company man; gray hair and hemorrhoids. The gray hair makes you look distinguished, and the hemorrhoids make you look concerned.