Houston, Again

Another pre-dawn assault on Houston. Outbound trip was uneventful. On leaving Houston the TSA was going through their routine of asking everyone their name. Their FULL name! If you left out your middle name, they asked you what it was. After observing this happen to several of the people in front of me, I stepped smartly up to the podium, handed over my ID and boarding pass and announced my full name. The agent looks up and says, "I haven't asked that yet! How did you know I was going to ask that?!"

"Because you've asked every person in front of me the same question and you ask this question every time I travel though Houston." Duh!

Meanwhile, the TSA "chat down" program being run in Boston is being ridiculed by John Mica, Chairman of the House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee:

During a recent visit to Logan to observe the pilot, Mica said he watched about a dozen officers quiz passengers in the terminal. "I put my ear up and listened to some idiotic questions," he said of the questions that delved into where travelers were coming from, why they'd been there and where they were going.

"I talked to them about their training, which was minimal," he said of his conversations with security personnel. He went on to say that even though passengers selected for further screening were supposed to go through hi-tech scanners, on the day he visited the machines were out of service because there weren't enough trained personnel to run them.

Meetings, Meetings, Meetings

Up at O Dark 30 to catch the red eye to Houston for a meeting. Twice this week and once last week. It sure cuts into my nap time. I was glad to find that the chunk of iron in my knee doesn't trigger the magnetometer at airport security. It also passes the strip search machines 2 out of 3 times. The last time, the agent told me he had to pat down my lower leg and I showed him the scar.

The TSA has lost none of its 'tude. A female agent in NOLa got testy with me as I walked up to her podium from the Elite Access lane. She yelled at me to wait on the carpet - something nobody ever does and that the people in the regular line were not doing. Of course, this set me up to tweak her a little bit more and I asked her if she had had her coffee yet. (It was 0545 hrs) She got so irritated even her fellow agent raised an eyebrow at her behavior. Hope today is better for you Officer Clayton. NOT!

TSA's new procedure for engaging travellers in conversation to determine if they are terrorists seems to consist of asking people their name - at least in Houston. Do they think that a determined terrorist is so stupid that he won't memorize his false identity? I had to restrain my self from answering "Jose Jimeniz, the astronaut", but these TSA kids are too young to know that gag. Question: Does working for the TSA give you a bad attitude or do they actively search for people with existing dysfunction?

And United is screwing up a perfectly good airline. All aspects of flying have gone downhill since United took over Continental.

Stupid TSA

Is it just me or is it stupid that the TSA spends more time searching the diaper of a 95 year old woman in a wheelchair than checking the ID and boarding pass of a Nigerian national? They missed him the first time and he got on the plane. He was discovered on the plane but the crew decided he was not a threat and he flew to the destination unrestrained. They questioned him but let him go at LAX. But the real stupidity is that he tried the same trick 4 days later. Agents found 10 more boarding passes in his bag. And he's only charged with being a stowaway?!

Friends, many Nigerians are Muslims. To me, this was an obvious attempt to test the system for weakness. Clearly, the ability to print multiple boarding passes is a weakness in the system. This guy should be in Gitmo and the TSA agent who missed him the first time should be fired - with prejudice.

Remember the next time you are being subjected to the national Stanford Prison Experiment we call airline security screening that you do not need a high school diploma to be a TSA agent.

TSA Adventures - Response to Email

I recently asked the TSA why I had to be frisked in a private room after testing positive for explosives on the first pat down. Here is their response.

Thank you for your recent e-mail concerning your request for Transportation Security Administration (TSA) publications.

We greatly appreciate your efforts to prepare travelers by making them aware of TSA security procedures and requirements. Unfortunately, TSA is not able to mass produce copies of our publications for wide distribution. Our publications are available, however, for printing from our website at www.TSATravelTips.us. Many brochures are in PDF format for high-quality reproduction and are available free for your use.

When there is a change in our screening policy, TSA publicizes these updates in local and national media, as well as on our website, to aid travelers. Additionally, our website offers a variety of information for travelers and consumers, such as a list of items prohibited in aircraft cabins, tips for people traveling with children, security laws, and links to other transportation websites.

TSA appreciates that you took the time to contact us and hopes this information is helpful.

Well, I didn't expect much more than a form letter anyway. I suspect that the real reason for the private room was that it was a full contact pat down and they didn't want to see a video of it posted on the internet.

Here is something to watch for if you opt out or have to have a pat down - Watch to see if the agent puts on new gloves. If he doesn't, the gloves could be tainted from anywhere before he gave you the pat down. If they then test positive, there is no way to be sure it came from you.

More TSA Adventures, Continued

Here is a copy of the query I sent to the TSA concerning my recent pat down. I will post the response.

I typically "opt out" of the x-ray machine due to concerns about civil rights and radiation. As usual, I opted out and received the usual pat down. Upon checking the swab for explosives, the machine showed a positive indication. I was then taken to a private cubical for another, full contact pat down. I told the agent that while I was not refusing, I preferred that the pat down be done in a public area. He insisted that it be done in the private cubical because "it's the rules." I asked to see the rules and was refused. I relented and the subsequent test was negative.

I am concerned that we have a regulatory agent that uses "the rules" to justify his actions while a citizen is not allowed to see the applicable regulation.

Can you send me a copy of the regulations that the agent was citing?

Can you explain why the second pat down had to be done out of the view of the public?

More TSA Adventures

I was leaving Houston last Thursday and opting out of the virtual strip search as usual. (Bear in mind that I know the pat down procedure and I know it includes a check for explosives at the end.) I told the agent to skip the explanation - I knew it by heart and I knew the drill - so he ran through the pat down while I kept up casual banter and told him I sometimes found the pat down faster than the x-ray. He swabbed his gloves and put the swab in the explosives detector. "It may not be faster today", he said. There on the screen, in big red letters was "EXPLOSIVES DETECTED".

Huh! "I've always wondered what happens if you get a positive reading", I commented.

He was joined by another agent and they asked me to enter their cubical for a private pat down.

"I prefer to have the pat down in public - right here."
"No sir, we must do it in here."
"Why?"
"It's the rules."
"Can you show me the rules and where it says that?"
"No sir."
"Are you ashamed of what you are doing?"
"No sir"
"Then lets do it here in public."
"Its the rules. Or I can call a policeman."


At this point I relented and we went into the cubical. The pat down was the same, except that he used his palms for a full contact pat down. I suspect that is why they go into the cubical. They don't want any more cell phone videos showing the TSA feeling up passengers.

This time the explosives test was negative and I was allowed to proceed. Of course, in the meantime they had pulled my boarding pass and called to have my bag pulled and all that had to be undone.

The last group of people who used adherence to "the rules" to justify their actions were defendants at the Nuremberg trials. Bear that in mind when dealing with the TSA.

Bound for Austria and Opt Out #5

If you read this blog last week, you will know that I don't hold the engineering of a certain Austrian company in high regard. Well, you must be careful of being too critical because I am now on my to Vienna for a week of meetings to iron out the rough spots in their design. (Hint: don't volunteer to go to the nice places. Just beg not to be thrown in that particular briar patch) The Mrs is happy to be tagging along.



As is typical, they tried to put me in the radiation booth. The agent I got was new and insisted on reciting the full description of what he was going to do during the pat down even though I told I knew the drill better than he did. His little speech took longer than the pat down. (thank you, Salvatore, for that waste of time - I hope you feel important now) They ought to pay me because I have probably done more to train TSA agents than Big Sis Napolitano.


We were flying NOLa - Memphis - Amsterdam - Vienna on Delta/KLM.

As we were trying to depart Memphis, the guy behind us refused to get off the phone. This lovesick middle aged dog was talking to his girlfriend and was suffering an episode of separation anxiety. I thought he was going to get thrown off the plane - and I was ready to help.

In Amsterdam, they patted me down again at the immigration/security point.

Other than those incidents, the trip was normal and I type this from the hotel in Vienna after a meal of beer, wienerschnitzel and saurkraut.

TSA Threepeat and Opt Out No. 4

Business was slow today for the early flight so there was little competition for the TSA Sun Tan Booth so they tagged me again. (Its the lull between the Holidays and Mardi Gras) And I again Opted Out. They don't skip a beat any more when I opt out. The agent manning the magnetometer, the same one who had frisked me last week, said hello and I reminded him that I had told him that I would be back. So, I was frisked again and in 60 seconds I was on my way.

I have to report that I have had no incidents of "inappropriate" frisking. Maybe the guys in NOLa are doing it wrong.

Opt Out No. 3 and Baggage Rants

Monday morning, 5:00 AM, no coffee yet and tagged yet again for a session in the TSA sun tan booth. Nope. Not me. And they call for a "male assist". (Does anyone know why they call a pat down an "assist"? They aren't in any way helping or "assisting" me. In fact, they are infringing my constitutional rights. If someone can tell me, I would like to know the etymology of the phrase.)

Anyway, I'm used to the routine and tell the agent that I'll see him again next week.

And here's another conundrum......Why do people who are either too short or too weak to put their carry on luggage in the overhead bin insist on bringing it into the cabin? Do they naturally assume that some kind traveller will put their bag up for them? Why impose yourself on other people that way? Sure, you save $25 in baggage fees but you aren't sharing that savings with the person who just hefted your bag into the overhead. Acknowledge your limitations and check the d**n bag.

And a final rant......a carry on bag that is stuffed with more s**t than a Christmas goose and won't fit in the overhead bin is, by definition, NOT a carry on bag.

Opt Out No. 2

They tagged me again this AM for the virtual strip search. And again I opted out. When the agent came to do the pat down, he asked me what had alarmed in the screener. I told him that nothing had alarmed, I had opted out. He asked me why. I told him I felt it was a violation of my right to protection from unreasonable search. He shrugged and tried to tell me that you really couldn't see anything anyway. I explained that I wasn't concerned about them "seeing things", but that I saw it as a violation of my constitutional rights.

This agent was nice guy. He even admitted that some agent's badge goes to their heads. I thanked him for his courtesy and told him I might see him next Monday onmy weekly commute to Houston.

He was a good conversationalist. I'm sure he realized very quickly that I was a weekly commuter to Houston and not likely to try to hijack the plane. The TSA would do better using guys like him to do verbal screenings the way they do in Israel.

And today I read that Rep James Clyburn (D-SC) feels that congress critters deserve special treatment at the airport.

“We’ve had some incidents where TSA authorities think that congresspeople should be treated like everybody else,” he said. “Well, the fact of the matter is, we are held to a higher standard in so many other areas, and I think we need to take a hard look at exactly how the TSA interact with members of Congress.”

It smacks of just more elitism from our congress critters. The PE says give 'em all an enhanced pat down and see how they like it.

I Opt Out

It happened early this morning as I was going through security to catch the coffee run to Houston. The TSA agent motioned for me to go through the full body scanner. I immediately, and without thinking about it, said, "No, I'm opting out." This did not make the TSA agent happy as he hollered for a "male assist" and told me to stand to the side. Unfortunately, that placed me right in the path of folks coming through the magnetic detector. (There was no obvious out of the way place to stand and he seemed to be aggravated that I was moving around to try to get out of the way of other passengers) After standing there for a few minutes, I asked where his partner was. I was told they would get someone as soon as someone was free. I suggested that perhaps the TSA's plan was to make those who opt out wait in public view until we decided it was easier to go through their machine. This really upset him and he stated that he would no longer talk to me. That sounded good to me as he wasn't saying anything worth hearing anyway.

And shortly the pat down agent arrived. I must say he was very polite and professional, describing exactly what he was going to do and he did it quickly and professionally. But I noticed that after the pat down, he wiped his gloves with a patch and put it through the bomb sniffer.

Now, what do you think would have happened had I been at the shooting range before going to the airport?

TSA Rant

If you believe, like I do, that the TSA has outgrown its charter and is turning into little more than a organized group of thugs who believe that travellers have no rights, or have given up those rights by the simple act of purchasing an airline ticket, then you are excused from reading this. But if you believe the TSA is performing a necessary service, then please read on.

First, I refer you to the Milgram Experiment. The Milgram Experiment was first done in 1961 to test the willingness of subjects to follow instructions from an authority figure. The testimony of Adolf Eichmann provided the basic idea for the experiment. Briefly, test subjects were told to administer an electric shock to another person for every wrong answer they gave during a quiz. The severity of the shocks would escalate with each wrong answer. What they found was that normal people were more than willing to administer the shock, without questioning the morality the action, as long as someone in authority told them to do so.

The Stanford Prison Experiment was carried out in 1971. Test subjects were divided into two groups - prisoners and guards. The guards were given authority over the prisoners and allowed to use psychological methods to control them. The guards became so abusive that the experiment had to be stopped after only 6 of its originally planned 14 day duration.

Go read about these and subsequent experiments of a similar nature. Then think about the recent stories regarding the TSA. Then think about Germany in the 1920s. Then you may understand why some of us resist the TSA.

Some people are advocating a national "opt out" day to force the TSA into pat downs and slow down their system. I have another suggestion: Use TSA's own web site to submit complaints about your treatment or the security system in general. Copy your congress critter, too. If enough people send in complaints, it will overwhelm their system.

On The Road Again

I've started a new assignment in Houston working for a company developing biomass to biodiesel plants. It's been a crazy few days getting up to speed with a new technology and all that goes along with that. Today I walked into the office and was asked to attend a meeting in Columbus, Ohio on Thursday. So I made a few quick reservations and am now typing this in Ohio.

As an interesting side light, I went to the hotel lobby this AM for breakfast and there was one other guy there. We got to talking and it turns out that he was a survivor off the "Deepwater Horizon". He was in Houston for medical checkups. So we killed the time talking about the disaster and the oilfield in general. A Vietnam Vet, the rig sinking was worse than Vietnam in his mind. He made it clear that he was finished with the oil industry. At 62 he was hoping for a nice settlement and a retirement from Transocean and he would go back to central Louisiana and go hunting. He put a human face on the disaster for me.

By the way, Bush International in Houston is preparing for body scanners. You now have to remove belts and wallets before going through security. The idea is to get you ready for the scanner prep but they don't tell this in time to prepare for it but yell at you as you are stacking your stuff on the xray belt. If I thought the effort was a stick in the eye to a terrorist, I would do it without flinching, but I suspect the terrorists are laughing at our silly attempts to thwart them. And I hate to see power in the hands of an uneducated martinet. Screw the TSA!

Airline Security - My Take

I do a fair amount of travelling as part of my job. I've been in and out of foreign airports (including Lagos) and my name (not ME) was once on the no fly list. (It was fun to watch the expressions of the gate agent when checking me in. Some would go white in the face until they verified that I wasn't the guy on the list) I think I can speak with some experience about the recent airline security issue.

Think back to 9/11. The hijackers gained access to a major airport by first passing through security at a small regional airport. When they got to Boston, they were considered to be secure and no further screenings were done.

This guy passed through security in Lagos - an airport whose security is notoriously poor (there used to be warnings about security there at all of the other airports in the world). Once he got to Amsterdam, he was passed on through to his connecting flight.

Do you see the similarities here? The problem exists when passengers transiting between flights in a secure area of the airport ARE ASSUMED TO HAVE BEEN PROPERLY SCREENED!

I have made connections all over the world, and while there is usually a x-ray machine, the screening is not nearly as thorough as the initial screening I received at my departure point. Therefore, if the screening at the departure point is poorly done, the chances are good that someone could pass any further screening.

FWIW, my recommendations are that all passengers transiting from airports with known poor security should receive extra screening before boarding their connecting flight. Airlines should allow more time for connecting flights to allow for the extra time in security screening.

That makes more sense than restricting my access to urinary facilities prior to landing.

BOHICA

I think I mentioned the extra screening we received upon departing Boston. The more I thought about it, the more I felt that it was inherently wrong for a government pseudo-policeman to place his hands upon a minor child. So, I fired off an email to them via the TSA website. This is their response:


Thank you for your email message.

Every person, regardless of age, must undergo screening to proceed beyond the security checkpoint. Even babies must be individually screened. However, a passenger should not be asked to do anything that would separate the passenger from his or her child. Transportation Security Officers (TSOs) are taught to explain what they are doing during the screening process. They should also ask permission when doing something that might cause concern.

Please keep in mind that a TSA is required to check the source of all alarms and to follow all screening requirements. While a passenger or guardian may decline to permit a search, a passenger will not be permitted to board an aircraft unless the screening is properly completed.

With that said, your complaint is regarding screening at Boston Logan International Airport. We have forwarded a copy of your email to the Customer Service Manager at that airport. The Customer Service Manager is responsible for ensuring that the screener workforce adheres to TSA principles for professional processing.

We monitor the number and nature of complaints we receive to track trends and spot areas of concern that may require special attention. This ongoing process will enable us to ensure prompt, corrective action whenever we determine that security-screening policies need modification or specific employees or screener teams are the subjects of repeated complaints.

Again, the TSA offers sincere apologies for the discomfort you experienced while traveling and encourage you to check the latest information at www.tsa.gov.

We hope that this information is helpful.
TSA Contact Center

Basically, you are at the mercy of the TSA when you travel.

Your Friends, the TSA

I just got back from two weeks in NH and Boston with my wife and oldest grandson, J. More on that great vacation in later posts but I wanted to relate our experience with the TSA on the return trip.

Our Continental flight out of Boston had mechanical problems (a bad generator control module which takes 5 minutes to replace - if you have a spare!) so after the usual messing around we were re booked on a USAir flight to NOLa. We had to change terminals and go through security again. When we got there we were singled out for the whole search enchilada. The contents of our bags was gone through - in detail. They used the bomb sniffer machine on everything (thank God I hadn't used any of the bags for carrying ammo to the range) and gave us all a pat down - including my 11 year old grandson. (It took all of my self control when they said they wanted to pat down an 11 year old boy.) The biggest item of concern they found was not the butane lighters or book of matches in my wife's purse, but the 3" long cast metal choo choo train pencil sharpener my grandson bought at the Cog Railway on Mt Washington. What was he going to do? Stick the pilot's finger in the thing and twist it?

I thought the whole thing was related to my misfortune of having the same name as someone on the no fly list but the TSA agent told my wife that anytime someones flight is cancelled, for any reason, they are put through the full search. So, sleep well tonight, the TSA is protecting the USA from travelling grandparents and 11 year old boys!