Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Random Thoughts

From an old email......

  • I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds.   People get out of the way much faster now. 
  • Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
  • I didn't make it to the gym today.  That makes five years in a row.
  • I decided to change calling the bathroom "the John" and renamed it "the Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
  • Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.
  • Old age is coming at a really bad time. 
  • When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
  • The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
  • I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.
  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
  • Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
  • Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
  • At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for. 

1 comment:

Old NFO said...

I can agree with all of those...