I had reserved a spot for us on the hotel shuttle boat at 3:50 PM. That was the last boat and even though our plane didn't leave until 9:30, I thought it was better to wait in the airport and shop in duty free rather than remain in the clutches of the Westin Luxury Collection hotel mafia. We got back to the hotel after lunch with some time to spare and we sat in the beautiful marble lobby and allowed our body temperatures to return to near normal from their previous heat stroke levels.
All is going smoothly. We can see light at the end of the tunnel, even if the tunnel is a narrow Venice canal. And joy of joys, they have a van to meet the boat to carry us to the airport and a guy actually carries my bag from the boat to the van. Nothing is too good for a departing tourist!
Small European airports operate a little differently than in America. The airlines do not have any permanent check in counters. Each point has a TV screen that tells you what flight they are checking in. They change all the time. Therefore, EasyJet does not have a check in counter open when we arrive. In fact, they won't have one open until about 1-1/2 hours before the flight. This means we can't check in and also that we can't go to duty free heaven on the other side of security and immigration. And don't think that any new European airport, which Marco Polo is, is going to waste any money on seating and food concessions in the check in area. No, no, no. That would be a waste of money. So, we tough it out for several hours until we can check in. I keep my wife supplied with diet cokes and even a salami sandwich (and they aren't going to waste any money on extra salami and dressing, either)
Finally we are free to get to our gate. Having been through the cattle chutes of EasyJet in London, we are prepared. We stay close to the gate and when it looks like someone is even close to letting us through we charge to the front of the herd and squeeze ourselves into the bus. Being travel smart that we are, I tell my wife to stand close to the door of the bus because my engineering mind tells me that there will be no organization when they open the doors and the closer you are to the front, the better chance you have of getting a good seat. Sure enough, they open the doors of the bus and people literally run to the boarding stairs. If getting off the Titanic was like this, it was a wonder that any women and children survived at all. So much for "Women and children first" or "Be British, lads".
Anyway, we make the plane and a short time later we land. We have to undergo the insult of having to fill out a landing card as non EU persons and I have a short melt down at the people milling about (with those God Damn backpacks!!!) who can't figure out how to write their name in the space provided. But, finally we escape the crush and walk out to find our friendly driver ready and waiting. I was never so happy to see a black man.
If you ever need the name of a reliable chauffeur company in London, I will recommend these guys highly. They were the highlight of the trip for being friendly, on time, efficient and a relatively good value. As I was telling someone about the trip, he said, "So, the water taxi was about the same cost as the airline tickets." I realized he was right. The tickets were $125 each way per person! The water taxi was $100. Go figure. I guess I gotta join the Venice water taxi union. If you go to Venice, bring Vaseline.
Showing posts with label Venice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Venice. Show all posts
Monday, June 16, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Monopolies and Gondoliers
So we both are back safely in the hotel and my star is not shining real bright. But after a short rest and a cool down, creeping hunger drives us out into the maze again. Good luck trying to find a restaurant based upon their address. And there is no way we are going to the hotel or any other of the three Westin Luxury Collection hotels in Venice. We start walking in the direction we know (it's night and I no longer can use the sun as a navigation tool) which is the Rialto Bridge. We arrive there pretty quickly because (1) the crowds are smaller and (2) we're not shopping. Anyway, we found another restaurant on the Grand Canal and had an enjoyable meal at a reasonable price. We stroll back to the hotel. As we pass through the square there are two dueling string quartets playing on opposite sides. Several people who don't want to pay $20 for a drink for the privilege to sit at a cafe table are sitting on the stones that make up the pavement. A pavement which is covered in pigeon excrement! I is astounded but I guess some people are so enamored by the beauty of Venice that they don't mind sitting in pigeon shit. We return to the hotel and turn in only to find that we both have so many aches from walking all day that we can't sleep and the air conditioning in the room was definitely not designed for 100 degree ambient temperatures.
After a fitfull night my wife states that she wants to go home (meaning London). By now I am an experienced Venice tourist and I head out to find a cafe where I can buy coffee and by-pass the hotel mafia. They only serve take out coffee in thin plastic cups and I turn into a juggler trying to carry two cups of coffee and a cup of warm milk back to room. But I do it. We now decide to try to get an earlier flight out of town. There is no EasyJet telephone number on the travel information card. There is no phone book in the room. No problem. The concierge will help! I call. His "help" is to suggest I call the operator and they will give me the number. I do that. I get a recording in Italian that I figure is telling me that the office is closed and the office hours are.....Second attempt is to bring the damsel to the concierge, look worried and tell him we have a "situation" and need to get back earlier. He finally pulls up the EasyJet web site to scan the schedule and finds that there is only one flight. OK, we're stuck and we have to deal with it.
When in doubt, eat. Meanwhile, my wife has discovered the store in the hotel where at least the girl behind the counter is friendly and helpful. We decide to go back to our cafe at Rialto Bridge where we are welcomed with open arms and complimentary drinks and cookies for desert. OK, Venice may not be all bad. Some of the people are nice. While we are eating, My wife had a slight urge to take a gondola ride. On the walk back to the hotel we stopped to eavesdrop on a couple that were negotiating with one of the gondoliers. 118 euros for 30 minutes! These guys have a hell of a union. Hookers don't get paid as much! That quells the interest in the gondola. We got pictures and that's good enough.
After a fitfull night my wife states that she wants to go home (meaning London). By now I am an experienced Venice tourist and I head out to find a cafe where I can buy coffee and by-pass the hotel mafia. They only serve take out coffee in thin plastic cups and I turn into a juggler trying to carry two cups of coffee and a cup of warm milk back to room. But I do it. We now decide to try to get an earlier flight out of town. There is no EasyJet telephone number on the travel information card. There is no phone book in the room. No problem. The concierge will help! I call. His "help" is to suggest I call the operator and they will give me the number. I do that. I get a recording in Italian that I figure is telling me that the office is closed and the office hours are.....Second attempt is to bring the damsel to the concierge, look worried and tell him we have a "situation" and need to get back earlier. He finally pulls up the EasyJet web site to scan the schedule and finds that there is only one flight. OK, we're stuck and we have to deal with it.
When in doubt, eat. Meanwhile, my wife has discovered the store in the hotel where at least the girl behind the counter is friendly and helpful. We decide to go back to our cafe at Rialto Bridge where we are welcomed with open arms and complimentary drinks and cookies for desert. OK, Venice may not be all bad. Some of the people are nice. While we are eating, My wife had a slight urge to take a gondola ride. On the walk back to the hotel we stopped to eavesdrop on a couple that were negotiating with one of the gondoliers. 118 euros for 30 minutes! These guys have a hell of a union. Hookers don't get paid as much! That quells the interest in the gondola. We got pictures and that's good enough.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Lost in Venice
So we had breakfast and are now ready to explore beautiful Venice. The hotel told us to check with the concierge and he would give us a map and directions. He does..and he also offers a complimentary water taxi ride to the island of Murano where they make glass. My wife always wanted to go there so this is good. It also happens to be the Venice equivalent of the get a free meal and listen to a condo sales pitch game. But it was low pressure and enjoyable and my wife was able to buy some Christmas presents and we got to ride through the canals.
The water taxi drops us off in front of the Piazza San Marco. We look at the beautiful buildings. We see the bell tower. We see the Bridge of Sighs. We see the Doges Palace. We see the pigeons. We see the pigeon shit! People feed the birds so they make more shit. We look at the long lines waiting to get into the cathedral. We feel the heat. Even living in New Orleans doesn't prepare you for this kind of heat. It makes you want to change clothes after 5 minutes. Arid Extra Dry was never tested in Venice. Anyway, we wander off in the general direction of the Rialto Bridge. I say general because there are no straight routes to anywhere. Once you get out of the piazza, it's like walking in a maze. The buildings are 50' high and you can't see but 20' in front of you. You have to look for arrows painted on the buildings to guide you to a landmark. Then, if you are good, you get within hand grenade distance of where you want to be and can see it from the canal. You can't ask a taxi driver. There are none.
In addition, the maze has hazards along the way. These hazards take the form of every designer shop you would expect to see on Rodeo Drive. (Dolce and Gabbano, Bruno Magli, Versace, Prada......) So as we are trying to find our way, my wife is also ducking into these shops and disappearing on me. Thankfully she was wearing a big straw hat and she was easy to spot when she came out again.
So we get to Rialto Bridge. Beautiful! And look at all the shops! We found a nice little cafe at the foot of the bridge called "Al Busco". The food was very good, the prices reasonable, and they treated us very well. The only bad thing was that my wife got splashed on the leg (probably from a pigeon that was under our table near the water) and the water must have had some stinging critters in it because she developed an itchy rash that looked like a jelly fish sting. Lesson: don't dangle your hand in canals of Venice!
So it's shop, shop , shop all afternoon. As we get back to the Piazza San Marco, I want to pop over and get a picture of the Bridge of Sighs. My wife doesn't want to make the walk and says she'll head down the side of the square and meet me at the corner. BIG MISTAKE. Never split up! If you do, designate a landmark to meet. The "end of the square" isn't specific enough. But I'm delerious in the heat and not thinking straight and I head off to the Bridge of Sighs. Stop, shoot, got it, and I'm back in 10 minutes. I expect to find my wife strolling along window shopping. And she's wearing that big straw hat and nobody in Venice wears hats so she'll be easy to spot. Wrong. Get to the corner and no wife. OK, I'm thinking she headed in the direction of the hotel so I go after her trail. Through the alleys, I come to a small square with a bridge over a canal. I stand at the top of the bridge and do the indian lookout thing trying to see that damn hat. No joy. I now figure she decided to go to the hotel and get a cold $10 diet coke. So, if I go there, I'll either find her or I can at least dump all the stuff I'm carrying and travel fast and light as I go on the hunt for my wife. The room is empty. Dumping the stuff, I now back track my route like a good boy scout. What's that? A hat! Oops. There is one other woman wearing a straw hat and it isn't my wife. I work my way back to the square and as I scan the square what do I see but my wife waving the hat over her head like a flag. She is not a happy camper and the only thing I can say is why aren't you wearing the hat?
The water taxi drops us off in front of the Piazza San Marco. We look at the beautiful buildings. We see the bell tower. We see the Bridge of Sighs. We see the Doges Palace. We see the pigeons. We see the pigeon shit! People feed the birds so they make more shit. We look at the long lines waiting to get into the cathedral. We feel the heat. Even living in New Orleans doesn't prepare you for this kind of heat. It makes you want to change clothes after 5 minutes. Arid Extra Dry was never tested in Venice. Anyway, we wander off in the general direction of the Rialto Bridge. I say general because there are no straight routes to anywhere. Once you get out of the piazza, it's like walking in a maze. The buildings are 50' high and you can't see but 20' in front of you. You have to look for arrows painted on the buildings to guide you to a landmark. Then, if you are good, you get within hand grenade distance of where you want to be and can see it from the canal. You can't ask a taxi driver. There are none.
In addition, the maze has hazards along the way. These hazards take the form of every designer shop you would expect to see on Rodeo Drive. (Dolce and Gabbano, Bruno Magli, Versace, Prada......) So as we are trying to find our way, my wife is also ducking into these shops and disappearing on me. Thankfully she was wearing a big straw hat and she was easy to spot when she came out again.
So we get to Rialto Bridge. Beautiful! And look at all the shops! We found a nice little cafe at the foot of the bridge called "Al Busco". The food was very good, the prices reasonable, and they treated us very well. The only bad thing was that my wife got splashed on the leg (probably from a pigeon that was under our table near the water) and the water must have had some stinging critters in it because she developed an itchy rash that looked like a jelly fish sting. Lesson: don't dangle your hand in canals of Venice!
So it's shop, shop , shop all afternoon. As we get back to the Piazza San Marco, I want to pop over and get a picture of the Bridge of Sighs. My wife doesn't want to make the walk and says she'll head down the side of the square and meet me at the corner. BIG MISTAKE. Never split up! If you do, designate a landmark to meet. The "end of the square" isn't specific enough. But I'm delerious in the heat and not thinking straight and I head off to the Bridge of Sighs. Stop, shoot, got it, and I'm back in 10 minutes. I expect to find my wife strolling along window shopping. And she's wearing that big straw hat and nobody in Venice wears hats so she'll be easy to spot. Wrong. Get to the corner and no wife. OK, I'm thinking she headed in the direction of the hotel so I go after her trail. Through the alleys, I come to a small square with a bridge over a canal. I stand at the top of the bridge and do the indian lookout thing trying to see that damn hat. No joy. I now figure she decided to go to the hotel and get a cold $10 diet coke. So, if I go there, I'll either find her or I can at least dump all the stuff I'm carrying and travel fast and light as I go on the hunt for my wife. The room is empty. Dumping the stuff, I now back track my route like a good boy scout. What's that? A hat! Oops. There is one other woman wearing a straw hat and it isn't my wife. I work my way back to the square and as I scan the square what do I see but my wife waving the hat over her head like a flag. She is not a happy camper and the only thing I can say is why aren't you wearing the hat?
Monday, June 9, 2008
A Special Anniversary Trip
I was on a project in London and I brought my wife along. She wanted to visit Venice, Italy and as it was close to our 25th anniversary, I organized a weekend trip to Venice. Here's how it went.
Friday started off good. Our driver was early and he was correct in his 90 minute estimate to get to Stansted Airport. We arrived in plenty of time and went to check in. First surprise. EasyJet only allow 5 kilos of carryon baggage. My wife's bag was 8. So off we go to another line for checked baggage. The line moved quickly and we checked our bags. We found a restaurant and had dinner while we waited for our 5:55 PM flight. EasyJet is the Southwest Airlines of the UK only they don't have the organization. Boarding was a free for all but we got two seats together and refused to give up the aisle seat. One hour and 40 minutes later (9:05 PM local) we land at Marco Polo Airport after flying over the Italian Alps. Nobody told us that we should now start thinking in terms of Mexico time as it takes 30 minutes for our bags to hit the belt. So now it's off to get some Euros and find a way to the hotel. We find that the dock for water taxis is about a mile from the airport. The water taxi is 80 euros and takes 20 minutes. The vaporetti is much cheaper but takes an hour. No decision there for us. Off we go to a $100 boat ride! Things are a little hectic so they ask us if we would mind sharing the boat. No problem because we are nice people and the other people looked nice to. Now you would think that they cut the fare in half. No way! We got a 20 euro discount for the privilege. (These guys have a monopoly!)
We arrive at our hotel after a scenic night time trip through the canals and into the Grand Canal. Check in was smooth. The lobby is stunning. All is good. We drop the bags in the room and head to the bar to relax. We sit outside with a view of the Church of the Salute and a glass of wine. An Italian gigolo tries to get my wife to join him in singing. About 11:30 it's time to back to the room. We were hungry. The restaurant wasn't serving but there's always room service. I call 'em up only to find that most of the room service menu is not available (although the menu clearly states it should be!) We settle for two ham and cheese sandwiches and two diet cokes. They promised it would be there in 10 minutes. It was. It was also 44 euros! OK, they got me. Won't happen again!
We get up the next morning. The sun is out. The view of the roof of the building next door is just wonderful. I go to the bar to try to get a cup of coffee to bring some back to the room. (four star hotel but no in room coffee pot) "I'm sorry sir, you will need to call room service." Oh no! I've been to that rodeo and I ain't paying $20 for coffee. I try to venture outside the hotel. All I see is an empty square and the alleys leading out of look like a good way to get lost and I don't have any breadcrumbs. I return empty handed and we go down to breakfast.
We have a wonderful view of the Grand Canal and the gondolas. Very nice buffet breakfast but nothing spectacular. They don't even have a guy making omelets. But we enjoy the view and drink coffee and try to protect our plates from the marauding flocks of sparrows. My wife goes back to the room and I call for the check. 100 euros for 2 people. That's $60 for a mediocre fritatta and some bacon!
They did it to me again! And they didn't even use Vaseline!
Friday started off good. Our driver was early and he was correct in his 90 minute estimate to get to Stansted Airport. We arrived in plenty of time and went to check in. First surprise. EasyJet only allow 5 kilos of carryon baggage. My wife's bag was 8. So off we go to another line for checked baggage. The line moved quickly and we checked our bags. We found a restaurant and had dinner while we waited for our 5:55 PM flight. EasyJet is the Southwest Airlines of the UK only they don't have the organization. Boarding was a free for all but we got two seats together and refused to give up the aisle seat. One hour and 40 minutes later (9:05 PM local) we land at Marco Polo Airport after flying over the Italian Alps. Nobody told us that we should now start thinking in terms of Mexico time as it takes 30 minutes for our bags to hit the belt. So now it's off to get some Euros and find a way to the hotel. We find that the dock for water taxis is about a mile from the airport. The water taxi is 80 euros and takes 20 minutes. The vaporetti is much cheaper but takes an hour. No decision there for us. Off we go to a $100 boat ride! Things are a little hectic so they ask us if we would mind sharing the boat. No problem because we are nice people and the other people looked nice to. Now you would think that they cut the fare in half. No way! We got a 20 euro discount for the privilege. (These guys have a monopoly!)
We arrive at our hotel after a scenic night time trip through the canals and into the Grand Canal. Check in was smooth. The lobby is stunning. All is good. We drop the bags in the room and head to the bar to relax. We sit outside with a view of the Church of the Salute and a glass of wine. An Italian gigolo tries to get my wife to join him in singing. About 11:30 it's time to back to the room. We were hungry. The restaurant wasn't serving but there's always room service. I call 'em up only to find that most of the room service menu is not available (although the menu clearly states it should be!) We settle for two ham and cheese sandwiches and two diet cokes. They promised it would be there in 10 minutes. It was. It was also 44 euros! OK, they got me. Won't happen again!
We get up the next morning. The sun is out. The view of the roof of the building next door is just wonderful. I go to the bar to try to get a cup of coffee to bring some back to the room. (four star hotel but no in room coffee pot) "I'm sorry sir, you will need to call room service." Oh no! I've been to that rodeo and I ain't paying $20 for coffee. I try to venture outside the hotel. All I see is an empty square and the alleys leading out of look like a good way to get lost and I don't have any breadcrumbs. I return empty handed and we go down to breakfast.
We have a wonderful view of the Grand Canal and the gondolas. Very nice buffet breakfast but nothing spectacular. They don't even have a guy making omelets. But we enjoy the view and drink coffee and try to protect our plates from the marauding flocks of sparrows. My wife goes back to the room and I call for the check. 100 euros for 2 people. That's $60 for a mediocre fritatta and some bacon!
They did it to me again! And they didn't even use Vaseline!
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